If you have been reading up on parenting, or parent craft, you may realise by now that there are so many different views on the same subjects.  For example, some people  tell you it's ok to let your baby cry while others tell you to 'block' your baby from crying as much as possible; some tell you to feed on demand, others tell you to fix a routine.

Contrasting viewpoints each have their own merits.  I am not surprised if you are overwhelmed by the 'confusion'.  Actually, it all boils down to different parenting philosophies. 

At one extreme, is what is loosely termed as 'child-centred' parenting.  At the other extreme, is what is loosely termed as 'family-centred' parenting. Most parents fall somewhere in between, some closer to one end, some the other end.

Loosely defined, child-centred parenting in the extreme puts the child above everything.  The child is the king, even over the parents.  Family-centred parenting, in the extreme, may 'sacrifice' the interest of the child for the sake of the 'greater good'.  Nothing taken to the extreme is good. 

The child-centred parenting camp will have you believe that family-centred parents are potential child abusers, living in homes filled with family violence and their children all grow up to be violent adults, child abusers, or people with serious psychological problem.

On the other hand, the family-centred parenting camp will have you believe that child-centred parents are super indulgent nitwit parents raising a bunch of self-centred, spoiled brats, who will grow up to be a liability to society or nuisance to all around them.

Neither picture is true.  The world is not made up of just black and white.  It does not mean that one love their children while the other don't.  If you ask me, I think both (in the extreme) don't love their children - the family-centred parent may neglect to meet the needs of the child and put their needs above the child; the child-centred parent 'hate' his child by not preparing him for life, by not instilling discipline, and not correcting his wrongs.

Most of the time, people from one camp attack the people from the other camp, citing horror examples to discredit the other party.  In actually fact, I think in reality, hardly anyone falls into the extreme.  However, understanding these two extremes, will help you to understand why there are all these confusing and conflicting information about parenting. You will know why there is a difference.  You should be able to differentiate parenting techniques of one 'camp' from the other.

So which is the right one to adopt?  I know this sounds cliché but a balance of both will be best.  Balance is the key. 

Once you understand the two different philosophies, you will probably know roughly where you stand.  Once you know that, you will be able to decide for yourself what kind of parenting technique  you think will work for you.  Hopefully now you will be less confused by varieties of parenting technique.

I want to stress that all 'normal' parents love their children and only want to do what is best for them.  As I said right from the beginning, every baby is different, every parent is different, every family is different.  You just got to find something that works for you, your child and your family. No point adopting some practices that are supposedly 'in vogue' but difficult to work out for your family situation and get all stressed out and guilty about it.  It will only impede on your ability to be a good parent.