If you are pregnant for the first time, one important thing you need to know right now is this : New Moms Need Support.

Over the years, since I became a mom and have been getting to know more moms, I find it coming up over and over again : bewilded new moms looking for support and help.  Unfortunately, a lot of times, finding none.

Sometimes I think it would be so useful to have a Mommy Buddy System for new moms. There are so many online forum these days but it is just not the same as having someone physically around to buddy you. Besides, not everyone has access to the internet and not everyone is internet savvy.

I guess in our culture, it is assumed that the mother/mother in law of the new mother (ie. grandmas), or even the confinement nanny should be able to provide the support and help. We naturally turn to our nearest, dearest and closest for guidance. A lot of times, we do get the help and support we need from these people. But then there are also so many new moms out there totally lost and mothers/in laws/confinement nannies are of no help. What is worse is that they are the total opposite. Instead of encouragement and building up the confidence of the new mom, they tear down and cast doubts, especially in the area of breastfeeding, and cause confusion by their old wives tales and irrational beliefs, and even their pride.  Instead of providing the support to help the new mom ease into her role as a mother, the grannies often allow their own self-interest to conflict with the new mom's interest.  E.g. grannies grumbling about not being able to feed a breastfed baby and therefore, keep pressurising the mother to switch to formula milk just so that they can get their hands on the baby.

Babies don't come with user manual and the transition into motherhood is sudden (one moment you don't have a baby and the next moment, your life revolves around one)  and can be very overwhelming.  To some, it can feel like being suddenly thrown into the deep end of a pool.  New moms panic at the slightest thing and it would be such a tremendous help to have an experienced and knowledgeable mom around to provide the security and pass on her experience and knowledge.   I have met mothers who get totally distressed by something as simple as baby having wind. They were completely clueless what to do. Actually, I was also one of them myself last time. I got totally stressed up because of my windy baby and all that crying. If only someone was there to just tell me things like using Ruyi Oil, Infacol, etc and saved me the stress and the money paid to the paed who told me the same thing.