I hesitated about writing this article because it would seem like I have 'arrived' when in actual fact, I have not.  I am still ploughing through day by day.  Then when I think of those mothers who have more kids, or do more stuff, with little or no help, I feel even more unqualified to write this. 

But many of you have written to me, asking me how I cope with two at home.  My first response to this question is ‘Sigh! Where do I even begin?’  It is something that would require a lot of thought, a lot reflection and a very long email to answer.  (Multiply that by the number of emails I have to reply for the same question!)

I hope you are not looking for a list of how-to’s because I am just going to share, in all honesty, all the ups and downs that I go through.  If you find something here that helps you, I am happy.  Otherwise, I hope that the least that I can do with this article is to encourage you.  I am not a Supermom and I have my fair share of failures, frustration and despair.  If a ‘normal’ mom like me can pull through, you can too. 

Some facts

I have two kids, 3 years apart.  I don’t have a live-in domestic helper, but I do have a part-time cleaner who comes once a week to help me with the heavy duty housework.  My daily house chores include keeping the house neat and tidy, sweeping the floor, occasionally wet-mopping when the kids-created damage is too bad, doing the laundry and cooking the meals.  My husband helps with the ironing.  Apart from housework and kids, I run an online business and of course, this website.

So you see, I don’t do that many things after all!

The Kids

I must point out that the 3-year age gap is a blessing to us.  From what I heard from other mothers’ experience, those with children of narrower age gap tend to have a tougher time because the older one just reached the challenging stage (commonly known as the ‘terror two’ stage), when the baby arrived.  At that age, the older one is still at the ‘self-focused’ stage and still requires a lot of attention from the parents. He is also less able to understand a lot of things, like why the baby takes precedence over him for a lot of things.  But by the time he reaches 3-year, he will begin to be more independent and able to understand more things.  Personally, I also find that when my boy reached 3-year, he started ‘detaching’ himself from mommy and ‘attaching’ himself more to daddy, which is a welcome relief for me.

The 3-year gap was not deliberately intended but I am thankful that it worked out well for us.